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(Reuters)

Celebrate! It’s in the bag

‘The world’s attitude towards plastic is changing. It could be too late but it’s changing’

(Reuters)

This is why ‘Catbook’ won’t work

‘Why people allow Facebook to make up their minds for them is beyond me and that might be the real question here’

(Reuters)

A note from Igor, the lonely goalie

‘Before goalie, I play golf. Before golf, I hit tennis ball against wall. Do you see a pattern?’

(Reuters)

Wake up to what woke is

‘Being woke simply means you see things’

(Reuters)

The sacred versus the profane

‘Circling each other now, each fighter coming in for the obligatory mock charge’

(Reuters)

Thank you for vaping

‘Over the course of the past five years, I’ve seen people of a variety of ages and vocations suck on their cylinders as if preparing to go underwater’

(Reuters)

‘Now arriving: Mama Winnie Airport’

“All members in favour of renaming Cape Town International Airport to Project Runway, say aye”

(Reuters)

How to fill an a-hole’s budget hole

‘And, don’t worry, Malusi Gigaba, our finance minister, has a plan — or at least we hope he does’

(Reuters)

An H&M mannequin speaks

‘Have mercy, I wanted to plead but, of course, couldn’t’

(Reuters)

How to publish a fees report

‘The manuscript you sent us (bar, perhaps, mention of a R99-billion surplus) brought us, and by extension our readers, no joy’

(Reuters)

Free-rein special for our friends

South Africa welcomes all distinguished travellers with diplomatic immunity.

SAA boss Dudu Myeni

SAA pilots a midair strike

Jumping ship, but different.

Koeberg’s chief nuclear officer, Riedewaan Barkadien, has resigned to take up an executive position at a nuclear power station in Canada. Eskom said former Koeberg power station plant manager Keith Featherstone would act as chief nuclear officer from the start of August.

Cooler heads won’t prevail #ACmustfall

Of air conditioning and the power of protest.

“It’s a lot like Madam & Eve

Pay it back or die, by Rihanna

The Commission of Gender Equality in Imaginary City has a hard time with Rihanna’s video.